Getting back to Normal "Whatever that is"!!

Well, as you can see Lou is home!!! Actually, almost 4,000 of our soldiers are now home in Baumholder. It's crazy, really. I didn't realize just how empty this place was. It is so much fun to see family's everywhere. The kids looking at their Daddy's and Mommy's with bright eyes'; and so many lady's smiling........it's like the sun has come out in Baumholder.

As for us, well......I am still pinching myself sometimes, and I haven't complained about his stuff being anywhere, yet. I am hoping I will remember to never complain about his boots, p.t. clothes, or piles ever again.

My friends and I have had small chances to talk with each other. Always, asking each other what it is like; and for the most part we all just smile real big and say it's really great. I have had a chance to talk a little more with my closer friends and I think the most common theme among us, is that we just didn't realize how much we really did miss them, how much our husband's do add to our family's lives.

For most of us our husbands trained almost monthly for at least 6 months before they were deployed; and so it has been such an incredibly long time since we really "had" them home. I spoke with one friend today that said she still couldn't really believe he wasn't going to be turning around and leaving again.

It's funny, I think I understand what "hostages" feel like now. I know this is a stretch so stay with me.......NO, I am not saying the Army takes hostages. Although, many of my friends know that in Germany, we often call it the Officer's Hostage Program!!

No, it's getting slowly used to the circumstances that you are in; you know what is expected, you don't expect freedom; or in our case, true "normal" no longer holding your breath, or getting through the pain many days. So, I think for many of us, we are just having a hard time trying to figure out who we are when our circumstances are normal.

I know normal will come again, our routines are starting to settle in; and I am almost feeling what it was like, before....I am not sure before what. It's so wonderful not to have an inpending deployment before us. I am not always having to think this time....next year......I can now just remain in the present.

The present can be such an AWESOME, AWESOME THING. Presently, my husband is trying to decide what pants he should wear for a dinner tomorrow night. Presently, I can pick up a phone and call my husband; and I don't have to worry about being disconnected 5 times in a row before I get to say more than 3 words to him.

Presently, I get to wake up in the morning and know that he is okay; and 5 minutes away from me; working and doing normal things. I don't have to wonder "is he going out today"? I know he's not. I know where he is; and I know that the worst thing he will do tomorrow is sit through a training meeting (to him, that's probably worse than being in a patrol).

Anyway, I guess what I am feeling right now is just a thankfulness that my present circumstances are without too much struggle. I am not in "survival" mode anymore. Now, if I can just get my emotions to catch up with that.

We are having our last memorial this week; and I feel familiar feelings coming up. There is a sadness around me. I will be meeting Major Taylor's parents; and what do I say......how will they feel when they drive through the front gate and see all the Welcome Home Signs? I have never sat with my husband during a memorial. Will I be strong enough?

Anyway, my thoughts are never very far away from the soldiers that I visited in Landstuhl. I think about them alot; and I think about the family's of our fallen soldiers. I am having a harder time letting go of those emotions.

We watched a show last night about a medic unit in Iraq; and it showed iraqi's and Anerican soldiers being brough in to their facility. It took me back to what it was like to look down at some of the soldiers in Landstuhl.

I cannot even describe the humbleness, and great sadness that can come from visiting with an injured soldier. Of course, there is at the same time joy that they are alive and even laughter, because many times the soldiers use humor to hide the pain. That's okay, whatever gets them through it, I will gladly do.

I wish that every American could get 5 minutes in a hospital room with a soldier that has fought and been injured in this conflict. They everyone gets their 5 minutes of fame. Well, I promise you that your life will be much fuller if instead you get 5 minutes in the presence of an injured soldier. Especially, some of the young ones..........You cannot walk out of the room the same. They are always just so thankful, and always worried about the other's in the room or on the floor.

We are all so used to "selfishness" in this world. How many items does she have in the express lane? Why did they get a table before us? or their food before us? How did my neighbor get such a good job, car, wife etc. or why can't I.

These guys have basically said, "I will". "I will defend my country", I will die for my buddy next to me. "I will" watch your back. I might not know why, but I will.......I don't have to have all the answers, I just know that it's my job.

Okay, so I am going to stop writing and go give my superhero a big hug.

Have a wonderful, wonderful Thanksgiving. Don't remember to pray for the soldiers that are eating their thanksgiving meals thousands of miles away from their family's. So what if your turkey isn't perfect, or your pies, just be thankful for what you have

Love,
Patty

LET US NOT GROW WEARY

And let us grow not weary while doing good, for in
due season we shall reap IF we do not lose heart
GALATIANS 6:9

I have tried so hard to focus on this verse this week, it's funny because as the time as drawn nearer for Louis to come back HOME, it has actually gotten more difficult. I am comforted by this verse, especially since this week, when we had all let our guard down, Louis lost yet another friend and soldier within his unit.

He was a Major; and that is just usually unexpected. He has a wife; and a small baby and I just thought I could not handle any more. I drove to Rear Detachment; and just cried in their office. I knew that would be the one place that they would understand. Of course, they understood; and it gave me comfort to know that I was not alone.

It's a season of contradictions for us all. We Welcomed home our beloved Bravo Company on the same evening, that I found out about the death in our unit. I didn't want my friends from Bravo to know; and I especially didn't want to kill their joy, so I just sat there, smiling.

Of course I was so happy; and truly it helped heal my heart that night, but it was hard knowing that at the same time we were celebrating the homecoming of these brave heroes, that their was a family grieving; and dealing with the tragedy of losing their husband, son, and friend so close to the end.

Sometimes I think about this community; and I am in awe of the spirit and strength that has survived this year. I looked at the soldier's faces at the Welcome Home Ceremony; and I could see the weariness in their eyes; some looked thinner and some older. Although, they were so happy to be home, I knew that they were not the same as when they left a year ago.

I watched the wives faces; and also saw the weariness, the quiet anxiousness in their faces, waiting to know for sure that their husband was safe; and finally home.

I cannot wait until that day; that day when I too know that my soldier is home; and I can take that breath that I have been holding for over 12 months; and let it back out. I cannot wait to wipe the seriousness off of my husband's brows; and laugh again.

I cannot wait to go throughout a normal day with him. There are so many simple things that I look forward to doing with Louis. I just want to drive in the car with him; and know that he won't be getting out and I won't be saying goodbye.

The children will know that at the end of the day they will see Dad; and I also know that there will be someone to wrap my arms around; and say "How was Your day".

Thanksgiving, will mean more to me than it ever has this year. I am thankful every day, that my husband is alive; and that there were no men at my door.

My friend said it well. She has had a hard time speaking with friends at home, because she says when they ask her "How she is doing". She can't tell them well; it was a good day, my husband didn't die.

I know for some of you reading this, it just sounds so harsh; but honestly it has been our reality. I can't apologize for our feelings, I am afraid this year we have earned them.

I can honestly say; however, I feel as if our little community is coming out of a deep somberness. I went to the movies tonight, with my kids and it was so wonderful to see some of the Dads with their kids; and to see friends that I have sat beside at memorials, tonight laughing.

There is a season for everything; and I know as our season of sorrow in Baumholder comes to an end in a few weeks, for many other places it will just be beginning. I hope I don't forget. I am afraid I will. I know I have to move on; but it almost feels wrong. I think of the ladies that won't be moving on; and it's hard for me, to feel joy without some guilt.

However, there is a part of me that knows, that this is my season to now laugh, and drink all that life has to offer our family in. We have made plans to travel to Barcelona for Thanksgiving; and I can't wait to make dinners for my husband. I cannot wait to see him play in the park with his kids.

Mostly, I can't wait to just talk with him. I cannot tell you the joy it has brought me to see the Dad's with their kids at the park this week. Also, to see all the banners lining our front gates, buildings and trees!! We have had our months of darkness here; and it just feels like a light has been turned on again.

I guess in the end; that is what life is all about. I think that many of us here; will always try to enjoy the small things, and we won't forget what life is like without them. Many of the soldies will carry their own scars; and so will the wives, but I will also carry new lessons with me. I have learned so much through this experience.

I have gotten to experience so much good. I was able to go visit some of our soldiers in Landstuhl this week. There were a few that were seriously injured. One soldier was just in agonizing pain; and through that he still looked at me and said "Thank you Maa'm for coming". Where else, would I get to experience that. I was able to laugh with a young soldier, who told me that he would love a Dr. Pepper, because the last one he had was about a half hour before the RPG'S came in on his truck.

I cannot get over the sense of humor, that some of these soldiers still have. I visited with one soldier who was rooming with one of ours. He was leaving the next day; and didn't know this soldier before they were at Landstuhl together. I asked him how he was, and he said "Just trying to make sure that "he" is okay". He was referring to the soldier in the room with him. He had such a look of seriousness, about this. I knew he meant it.

I would not trade the minutes I have had with these soldiers for anything. I have seen the best; and sometimes the worst. However, I won't forget these guys.....EVER!!

So, yes I am weary; and I know those around me are; however, we still have life in us. Most of all, as I celebrate I will remember those who sacrificed for me and others. I will celebrate for them; because I know many of them are celebrating in heaven. I picture them meeting god; their bodies whole, again.

I am starting to feel whole again, too. I feel as if I am waking up from a deep sleep; and I am experiencing things for the first time again. I will send pictures from time to time, so that you all can experience some of this too!!

I wish each of you could be here, I wish you could see what this kind of joy is. For me, the words "Freedom isn't Free" mean so, much more than they used to. Sometimes, the truest appreciation of what life can give; is seeing life taken.

Promise, me each of you that you will celebrate your lives!!!

Love and God Bless,

Patty

I LOVE MY IPOD, ME THE TECHNO DUMMO

THE YOUNGEST CAN SLEEP ANYWHERE............

A FEW UNEXPECTED DAYS WITH LOUIS

Okay, so here's the thing I have to admit to loving my IPOD!!! I didn't even know what an ipod was a year ago; and I scoffed at my son's friends for having them. I used to say to Robert, "Why would anyone need a doohicky thing that could download that many songs; and stick earplugs in their ears". What is wrong with today's society.......ya da ya da ya da.............so I hate admitting to loving this technology but I do.

So, how did I get hooked; well it's easy I actually tried it. I wanted to walk one day; and thought it would be nice to have some music. So, I did; and the rest is history. I came home and looked at my son and said, "I have to have one of those things"!!

My poor son agreed, because every time he went to use his I had run down the battery. So, my dear sweet husband got me one. I think he mainly did it, because he was amused that I actually knew what one was; and because it motivated me to walk.

Whatever the reason, I am thankful!! I can put that thing on and run the steps to Nikelback; and when I have had a bad day I will use any excuse to use it; even if it's taking out the trash!!

I have never been a fan of technology. Mainly, because I would have to read instructions to use it. I am learning that I have been a "technology snob"!! Seriously, what would I do without my digital camera. Our poor family would never get pictures of our children. I use the camera because it's easy; I can download the pictures and send them on email. Also, our webcam has become priceless in our house. My kids get to tell their Daddy goodnight; and Katie Grace no longer thinks her Dad lives in the sky; of course she now talks to the computer; but don't we all. The webcam has become a much anticipated event around bedtime. It's funny how much more I tend to try to look presentable around the house these days. My favorite thing about it is that occasionally my husband gets to use it to have a "sit down" with one of the children. These days it's usually Robert; but at least he is a part of things.

Also, the television. I am not a huge fan of the t.v.; there's lots of things I don't like about it. IF I had different circumstances I would probably unplug it. However, to a mom of four with a husband that is gone; it's another gift from God right now. I don't think God would say that television is bad; it's just what we do with it; that becomes bad. I think that it's the same with most things; especially technology.

Now, I have to admit that he is probably not a big fan of me using it as a babysitter. However, I will confess right now that I have done that this past year. There are times whenI just cannot take another moment of trying to pick up after someone; or breakup another "MOM, she took my polly pocket fight". I have actually even barked at my kids to sit down and watch television and not to get up. I am sorry; it's true. I am THE WORST HOMESCHOOLING MOM IN THE WORLD, right? No, I am just a Mom that needs an occasional break in the afternoon. Especially, to make dinner without a small one hanging on my leg as I walk from the refrigerator to the sink.

I am not proud that my kids now watch Sponge Bob (do you think there is a support program for this)? however, I am trying to go easy on myself; and remember there is a season for everything. Obviously, this is not the season that I will get to be on the cover of The Old Schoolhouse; and they won't be doing an article on my wonderful parenting techniques. However, I can say that I have mothered my children through 2 deployments while living in Germany. I have not put them back in school; and so far there are no military police reports out on me.

I did lose two of my children; one in a castle and one in Mcdonald's. However, Syd can always say she got the longest tour ever in the Neuschweinstein Castle. I also know the German technique for casting arms (not pretty); and I had the luxury of having two children in casts at the same time. I also have gotten to know the german doctors at the emergency room very well; and I know a secret........shhhh........don't tell. Okay, I am telling. MOm's if you don't feel like getting a babysitter or having to drag all of your kids in the clinic( oops, i forgot they don't allow that anymore) give your child motrin until you can get a neighbor to keep your baby monitor for you. Dash up to the krankenhaus; give them a list of your symptons; and you will have antibiotics within 20 minutes. It's the quickest, and best method for us moms. Oh, and it works great for the kids too!!

Oh, also I did forget that I managed to keep my kids in church, clothed, my car maintained, most of the things working in my house (well some of them), I sent packages to my husband, well sometimes. I supported his work by doing frg, kept the house kind of clean; thank god for the putzenfrau(my floor thanks her once a week too)!!

I also managed to have at least 4 homecooked meals a week for the kids (does noodles with butter count)? and I homeschooled them without being put in a certain ward in Landstuhl, that will remain nameless. I do remember once or twice asking God if he was sure that he wanted me to do this; and I do remember making my kids put their shoes on once to walk them down to the school to enroll them, but I didn't.

So, I guess God is not too disappointed in me. Although, he does probably wish I would quit using his name in vain when I can't fix the computer or I am running late for church again. He also probably wishes that I would not forego prayers at bedtime; because I am instead begging them to go to sleep, so Mom can have an hour to herself . And, I guess if I have to admit it, he also probably wishes I would quit complaining to him about what he is putting me through.

I do ask forgiveness; and I do pray ALOT, actually. I hold his hand everyday so that I can make it through and I try to remember to always thank him for keeping my husband safe another day. So, maybe he will overlook the SpongeBob thing.

So, what was I talking about, oh yeah my ipod; I LOVE MY IPOD!!!!

OH AND IN CASE NO ONE KNOWS THIS MY HUSBAND IS COMING HOME SOON; SOOOOO, SOON THAT I AM ACTUALLY HAVING TO GO THROUGH THE MAIL ON THE DESK. I WILL OF COURSE INCLUDE PICTURES OF ALL OF THE DECORATING, PRE-BANNERING, AND WELCOME HOME CELEBRATIONS!!!!

it's so cool, that my kids are okay

I have often wondered if my kids were really going to be okay, after the last three years. Actually, i have had conversations with God in my head, where I have said God you want my husband to serve his country, but do you reallize what it is doing to my kids. I think I may have even yelled that at him once or twice.

So, we are down to about 6 weeks until my hubby gets home (god willing). And, I am looking back on some things; deciding what I really need to let Louis know before he gets home; and just trying to look at where our family is.

I realize, just how much God's grace has covered us. It's amazing!!!! I have felt guilty over so many things, and I realize that God knew that; and it is almost as if he is turning my face to him, now and saying "See, I told you it would be okay if you trusted me".

I can remember being torn at times as to whether or not to make a trip to Landstuhl to see asoldier or to stay at Batallion when we were making calls to our family's. I can remember thinking, I am being a bad Mom because my kids are not being homeschooled today. Although I also remember knowing that God had me where I was for a purpose, but I think I always questioned whether I was just trying to make myself feel better.

Today, my son looked at me; and said you know what Mom I am glad you do the things you do. Don't worry about our homeschooling today; what you are doing is important. I just wanted to hug him and tell him how much I needed to hear that.

My kids have learned more than I wanted them to, granted I wish they could have held on to innocence longer. However I am amazed at the maturity they show about world issues, and the passion that Robert has now for soldiers.

Yes, I am going to be taking away from their homeschooling for the next six weeks, as we prepare for the soldiers to come home. However, they are getting to be a part of something so wonderful, they really get to contribute to what their Dad is doing. What kind of lesson is that?

I think that someday when we look back at this time I am going to realize that many of the basic core values that my two oldest will have, will have been gained at this time. I truly believe that my children will never forget what true compassion and the love of Christ is.

They have seen ladies giving whatever they could to make their "little world" better. I know that my children will remember the meals made in our kitchen; and their jobs as brownie makers, for ladies that were really making a difference; and needed some support too.

I believe that my children will always remember what it's like to sacrifice for their country; and what freedom really means. They won't ever take the flag or the American Anthem for granted. They know to put their hand over their heart; they know the history of America, because that's a passion in our house.

Robert knows that his Mom can be devestated by the circumstances around her, but also what it's like to put your faith in Christ and get back up again. Sydney, knows that her Mom loves her Dad more than anything; and that a good marriage means sticking together through it all; and I hope that she will look for that in her future husband.

Looking back on this last year I don't remember much of our academic studies. I remember the math that came out of figuring out how many cookies to make for goody bags for our soldiers. My kids remember grammar through emails written to Dad. History took on a new meaning, when we studied about world religions, I didn't have to explain muslims very much to Robert.

I don't have to sit down and have a little talk about what "life and death" really mean, they know it. They also know what loving someone even when their away means. They know that as long as you have a family you are okay. They know that they will always be taken care of, no matter what the circumstances are; and they know that whatever the future holds, they will be okay as long as they trust God, pray when they are worried, and talk to their Mom and Dad (even on webcam).

Was this in my plan? No, of course not. However, God knew what our family was going to go through; and he gave us the strength that he gave us to get through it.

I just want to tell him, thank you for making sure my kids were okay. God, thanks for getting my back while my husband was getting other's.

Just some thoughts..........

Patty

"Finding Our Way Home".

Do not pray for easy lives, pray to be stronger men,
Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers,
pray for powers equal to your tasks.
Phillips Brooks

Hi, I am back and I realized after looking at the date of my last posting, that it has definitely been awhile. I also realized that it was shortly before Louis came home; and then the reality of our entire world here in Baumholder shifted. Honestly, I have thought about why I haven't posted to my blog; and it comes down to having no emotional energy to do so; until now at least. Many of you that read this know me well; and no of all of the losses we as a military community, as well as a family have suffered, and you know of the struggles that come with it, so I will not use up this blog for that, except to say that every soldier lost is a hero gained; and that I am forever indebted to them all, the ones I knew personally; and the ones I only knew by name. Thank, you from the bottom of my heart for "having my back"!!

My family and I are getting ready to experience many changes. OUr soldier is coming home in only a few months now (god willing), and we will be trying to find our way as our family again. We will be moving, I think to Colorado (for at least 3 months); and of course we will be once again living in the land of the brave and the free. I have been thinking about that recently; and I am nervous; it almost feels like Germany is now our home; and the United States is that beacon of light that is in our memory; but we can't quite remember what it's like to be there.

I know that I have changed so much in these years over here, and so have my children. Honestly, I don't know what it will be like for us. I also don't know what it will really be like to have Louis home. It's funny you put a date or a milestone, or even a place or person in your mind, as "when only, if only, when we....."; and then you realize that the reality is not quite what you expected. I know after being through one deployment that Louis's homecoming will not go without it's stumbling blocks. We have all grown in the past year; and we have been through life changing situations together; but separately. I know that we will have to get to know each other again; and the kids will have to learn how to have Dad back in the house, and Dad will have to learn how to live with us again (all of our noise, of course he has been living with soldiers)!! but they just follow orders; and as you know "us civilians, get to do things our way, sometimes".

Homeschooling this year, I think will take on a different look, than I even prepared for. I think that the truest sense of the word homeschooling will be what our family will be these next few years. Along with the academics (that i hope to squeeze in every now and then), we will be learning what "our home" will be again. God gives us all the opportunities, I think to look at our lives; and especially during the trials; and allows us to see what our foundation really is, as a friend of mine put it, so well. When you squeeze the tube of toothpaste, what comes out? Meaning, when you truly get squeezed as a person, or in this case "family; what comes out. well, sometimes the stuff that comes out is goopy and messy, and you have to patiently wipe that all away, so that the good stuff can start to come out of the tube. I think for our family the goopy stuff is all the "stuff" we have dealt with as a family and the dried up crusty paste is all of the emotions that have come along with it. God, our family and friends, and the acts of kindness within our family and outside of the family have patiently wiped all that off, so that the good stuff can come out now.

Hopefully, as we are learning what our "home" will be again, we will take the lessons we have learned: compassion, empathy, open eyes and ears, truest sacrifice, (my husband's favorite; the hard right over the easy wrong), that home truly is "where the heart is"; and that no matter how dark the day can get, the light of the lord our jesus christ is always bright enough to outshine the darkness; hopefully that will be what goes into the foundation; and from there the rest will be built.

Just some thoughts......just trying to break through on the other side of what has seemed like a very dark couple of months; may all that read this know that each one of you probably has added to that foundation.

i will try to post some pictures. I cannot wait to start sharing some of the welcome home plans, pictures etc.

patty<

HOMESCHOOLING AT OUR BEST

WE REALLY DO HOMESCHOOL, IT'S JUST A MATTER
OF WHAT YOU CONSIDER "SCHOOLING"

CAUSE AND EFFECT,
FINE ARTS-BUTT NAKED(HEY, I BET MOZART DID IT"),
AND OF COURSE EVERYONE NEEDS TO KNOW HOW TO BLOW BUBBLES,

Life is Never Solid, But God IS.....

I WAS REMINDED, AGAIN THIS WEEK THAT MY PLANS ARE NEVER MY OWN, THAT THE THINGS THAT I STAND ON, OR COUNT ON WHICH I THINK ARE SOLID, ARE USUALLY FLUID. GOD, HOWEVER IS ALWAYS SOLID, THAT'S WHY WE SHOULD ALWAYS REMEMBER TO LOOK TO HIM.

LOUIS CALLED ME ON WEDNESDAY, WITH THAT OPENING PHRASE, THAT ALL OF US ARMY WIVES, LOVE TO HEAR "WELL I HAVE GOOD NEWS, AND BAD NEWS".....DON'T YOU JUST LOVE THAT. I DON'T EVEN SAY ANYTHING NOW, I JUST TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND BRACE MYSELF.

ANYWAY, INTERESTINGLY ENOUGH, THIS ONE WASN'T SO BAD; OR MAYBE IT'S JUST THE PERSPECTIVE THAT I HAVE GAINED THE LAST FEW YEARS. LOUIS TOLD ME THAT HE WAS STILL PLANNING ON CHANGING OUT OF COMMAND ON OR AROUND MID JUNE AND THEY WILL FLY HIM TO THE LOCATION OF HIS NEW COMPANY, NOT SO GOOD; HOWEVER, THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT HE WILL BE HOME ON TUESDAY!!! YIKES, CAN YOU IMAGINE ALL THE THINGS SPINNING AROUND IN MY HEAD.

I LOVED MY EMAIL FROM LEIGHANNE, WHO OF COURSE KNEW ALL OF THE IMPORTANT THINGS TO ASK, LIKE DID YOU GET NEW SHEETS, AND FLUFFY TOWELS, YET? AND DID YOU GET A NEW OUTFIT!!!
WELL, I HAD TO SETTLE FOR 300 COUNT PX SHEETS, BUT THEY ARE NEW, AND MY NEW OUTFIT ARRIVED COURTESY OF THE GAP TODAY, THE UNMENTIONABLES, WELL THE PX IS DEFINITELY UNMENTIONABLE, SO I GUESS I WILL JUST HAVE TO BE CREATIVE!!!

ANYWAY, I JUST WANTED TO GIVE GOD THE GLORY IN ALL OF THIS. I HAVE HAD A REALLY TOUGH TIME THE LAST FEW WEEKS. JUST REALLY FEELING LIKE THE LADIES HERE IN BAUMHOLDER WERE GETTING BEAT DOWN; AND THE WEATHER HAS LIFTED, MAKING IT EASIER BUT I JUST FELT LIKE I WANTED SOME "ICING". ICING TO A DEPLOYED ARMY WIFE, CAN BE SOMETHING AS LITTLE AS THINKING SHE HAS A DEAD BATTERY; AND FINDING OUT IT JUST NEEDS TO BE CHARGED FOR AN HOUR, OR HAVING SOMEONE MAKE HER DINNER FOR NO OTHER REASON THAN JUST BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO DO IT.

OR, EVEN ONE WEEK, WITHOUT A CHILD GETTING SICK....THAT IS NOW THE REALITY OF ICING. BUT GOD DECIDED TO GIVE ME THE WHOLE "BETTY CROCKER"!!! I SURRENDERED, YET AGAIN ABOUT A WEEK AGO, TO LOTS OF THINGS, MAINLY NOT LETTING "NOT KNOWING" WHAT LOUIS'S FUTURE WAS OR R&R; AND BEING OKAY.......

AND, OF COURSE NOW HE IS COMING HOME EARLIER THAN EXPECTED. BUT THE REAL DEAL IS THAT HE WILL BE HOME FOR THE FIRST ANNIVERSARY IN FIVE YEARS; AND FOR MOTHER'S DAY!!!! THAT'S GOD; AND THANK YOU!!

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE WONDERING; NO WE DO NOT PLAN ON HAVING ANOTHER R&R BABY, BUT THEN AGAIN SOMETIMES OUR PLANS ARE NOT ALWAYS GOD'S.

THANKS, TO THOSE OF YOU WHO TAKE THE TIME TO READ THIS BLOG. I KNOW I HAVEN'T WRITTEN IN IT FOR AWHILE, BUT THAT IS BECAUSE I LOST IT; YES FOLKS I LOST MY BLOG(FOR THOSE OF YOU, WHO REALLY KNOW ME, YOUR NOT REALLY SURPRISED, ARE YOU?

FINALLY, WE WILL HAVE LOUIS HOME FOR TWO WEEKS; I WOULD LOVE YOUR PRAYERS THAT THIS WOULD BE A RESTFUL TIME FOR OUR FAMILY; AND THAT ON THE 25TH, WHEN HE GOES BACK, THAT OUR FAMILY WILL JUST GET THROUGH THE DAY WITH AS MUCH PEACE AS POSSIBLE, ESPECIALLY, ESPECIALLY THE KIDS.

Food For Thought? "What Would Be your Frosting"? Let me know......

Love, Patty

Encyclopedia Boy

Hi this is Robert Lancon Patty's son this is my little part of the family blog. First of I just want to say thank's mom for letting me have a part of this I guess my whole point in a blog is being able to have a story that may help people and to be able to have good advice so thanks for reading

In Him
Robert Lancon

How Do you Do It?

How do you do it? I get asked this question, alot!! Especially when it comes to homeschooling; during a deployment.

I am never quite sure how to respond. I want to give God the glory; however, I don't want my response to sound canned. I usually say "by God's grace". I really do believe that the only way we have made it this far; and not given up is by God's Providence and Grace; and a committment that I can't quite put my finger on.

I sit down every summer; and pour through catalogs, set schedules, vow to be more structured; and promise myself that this year I won't get too involved with other things.....(yeah, you homeschooling Moms are chuckling right now). You know what I mean!

I always begin with a long, thoughtful prayer; however. I ask God to really lead our homeschooling; and give me the goals that our children need for the year.

Every year; around January I start struggling. Am I failing? Why can't my life be like these other homeschooling family's? You know the ones, The Dad begins breakfast with morning devotions, while Mom takes the homemade bread out of the oven. The children all sit calmly at the table; their dressed and their clothes are all matching. They have done all their morning chores; and are now waiting patiently for their breakfast by the fireplace.

My reality is a little different; however. Dad has not been seen at the breakfast table in so long; I'm not sure if we would know what to do with him. He might be doing devotions; but realistically, he is probably in his 10th meeting of the day, in a country far away; and we won't remember to even tell him what we are studying.

Their is no homemade bread; but if the kids search in the cabinets they might find a bagel; or if we haven't run out of milk over the weekend they might get some Cheerios. Of course, if I forgot to sweep the night before, Katie Grace might find breakfast under her high chair.

The kids are dressed (but usually in pj.'s; except for Mary who prefers sitting at the table in her Dora underwear); and morning chores done (well.....let's just say maybe if I have done that thing I swore to never do (like bribed them, that when there chores are done and they are dressed they can watch, yet another episode of "Dora" or more educational than that " Blues Clues"; then maybe the chores are done. The usual devotion is prayer, and me begging God to just get through this day without, promising myself that I might register the kids in school the next day; well that's reality alot of the time.

However, with all of the doubts, the fears, the expectations that don't quite ever get met; there is something inside of me that just knows that homeschooling our children is what God's will is in our life!

All of our days aren't a struggle. Last week, we went to the comissary and I was feeling guilty about running errands (again) on a homeschooling day. We were doing that, because we wanted to help a friend with her children in the afternoon. That's what our reality is around here; we have to help each other (okay, my kids have learned about compassion, putting other need's first, and childcare).

Anyway, I pulled out this Grocery Math Book; and ran some pages off. Each child had their assignment. Rob had to find the ingredients for a recipe; compare brands, come up with the cost to make the recipe, and decide if the recipe was cheaper homemade or if we could go out to eat for less.

Sydney had to weigh fruit, produce and figure out the total cost of each item. We learned alot about fresh produce versus frozen. We learned what a fraction was; and how frustrating it is when they don't price items.

She also had to compare 5 brands of hotdogs; and find the brand that had the least amount of fat. WOW, LET'S JUST SAY I DON'T WANT TO EAT ANY MORE HOT DOGS. We learned that turkey dogs have the least; and that although most "fat free" items are the most expensive; not things made with turkey. Why? because turkey's are less costly to raise, process etc.

Robert had to talk to the manager, because a coupon that said "buy two" and get a free frozen can of Tropicana; could not be used because the comissary doesn't sell that brand. He did a great job. The manager thanked him; and pulled the coupons off of the shelf. Robert learned, not to buy a brand just because of the deal.

So, did we sit down and do alot of subjects that day. Was that in my plan for the week? No, it was not. It wasn't in our Math Curriculum; and it was a longer trip to the comissary.

However, my kids learned alot of important things that day. Things, that I wish I would have learned. I ask God each day, to plan my day. I have to trust him; and I have to trust that if he wants me to homeschool; and he knows my circumstances, then he must also give me the grace and strength that I need to carry this out.

Do I feel guilty, when I realize that I don't have report cards like other homeschoolers; sometimes, I do. How about when people talk about "having to homeschool" all week, because they are off track. Yes, sometimes I think to myself "oh, know I must not really be doing something right, I don't have a clue when we are supposed to finish.....However, when I look back at the goals that I set at the first of the year I am always amazed; floored actually. We always meet those goals; and usually exceed what I thought we would accomplish.

My kids seem to be doing fine; a little slower in some things, a little faster in others. They are socially capable, they have no problems carrying on conversations, they are afforded plenty of opportunities to do things; and most of all they get to do lots of "life" things. They know how to plan a meal, shop for it; and cook at least one item. They know how to change a diaper, make a bottle, feed a child (even with a bib on). They can start a load of laundry; and clean a bathroom. They know how to make appointments, shovel snow and help out an elderly neighbor when they need it.

They also know how to be strong through challenges, disappointments and missed expectations. They know what compassion is, because they see it every day. They know that Mom is not always okay (sometimes, she has very bad days, but asks forgiveness; and doesn't give up) they know, that Jesus loves them; and listens to their prayers, because they are allowed to say prayers in their school.

Here is what they don't know alot about: Bullying, the newest trends, the newest bad words or sometimes regular words; they don't know what it means to raise their hand to go to the bathroom, they don't know what it means to not be able to celebrate "Christmas" in stead of Winterbreak (the newest okay word). They also don't have a clue as to what it means to be tolerant of things that are wrong, just because a curriculum or teacher tells them to.

Okay, I better stop here.....my soapbox.

I guess I just want to say, that in the end I don't do it. God, does. He knows what he is doing; so I will just stick with him.

P.S, If you have not read it, yet. Please, Please go out and buy the book titled "Marketing of Evil"; it's on Amazon and I want to buy this for everyone I know,.

goodnight, again
Patty

"For I know the Plans I have for you....."

Okay, so I have been doing some more pondering; and I have been thinking alot about plans; and how much we count on them; and how difficult it is to let your plans go.....

For instance, Louis and I planned on moving to Germany back in 2002; and I pictured cute little houses with flower boxes, the kids, Louis and I happily traveling down the cobblestone roads, experiencing homeschooling through touring castles!!!

Well, um hummn we know how that went. We arrived the first day to the usual "grey, overcast" October day; and suddenly we were in a hotel; and my husband had one foot out of the door with his sponsor. I casually, ask him about lunch; and he says well you and the kids can just walk up the hill to the foodcourt and grab something! I don't think I will ever let him forget that one.

Of course, that hill was more like a mountain after traveling 24 hours and pushing one child in a stroller. Let's not forget I was in a foreign country....

Anyway, from that day forward my, "our" plans changed. We had stairwell living, my friends from Germany can appreciate that one. Let's just say quaint and flower boxes was not stairwell living in Wiesbaden. Yeah, our family traveled, usually without Louis and our castle tours ended the day I lost Sydney for 45 minutes in one of the more famous castles over here.

I had plans of homeschooling my children, while immersing ourselves in the German culture. If you want to call shushing my children while sitting at the table, trying for the 50th time to get Deutch Telecom to explain why after two months I still did not have internet hooked up, immersion...well yeah we did that. (Again, my german comrades can relate to that one).

Did I expect to say goodbye to Louis the first year we were there, no. My plans defintely did not include trying to be normal around my kids, but as soon as I heard of another soldier dying in Iraq, dashing to the computer just to make sure it wasn't someone from First Armor Division.

I also didn't plan for rats infesting my building, all three of my children getting scabies from traveling over there. Yeah, there were lots of things that did not go with my plans.

Here are some of the other things I didn't plan. I didn't plan on becoming friends with woman, that I will never forget! I didn't plan on holding hands with other woman, praying, crying and knowing that I will never, ever meet heroes like the ones standing around me.

I didn't plan on being so proud of my husband, my country, and the ones wearing a uniform, that I literally could not watch a commercial with a soldier returning, or our flag waving without being reduced to tears. I learned in a short time, that freedom wasn't free; and WOW I can't tell you how much the history lessons that the kids and I share mean, now. Especially, the ones about America being founded.

I also didn't plan on my husband coming home for knee surgery in the middle of the deployment and gaining our fourth, sweet Katie Grace! I didn't plan on my marriage growing so much, while seperated and I didn't plan on appreciating little things, like Louis just riding in the car with us.

I didn't plan on really knowing what it meant to depend on God; and knowing that through all my suffering, I would know true peace. Alot of us, learned that on a very dark day in April, when we found out our husbands were being extended in Iraq. Some of them already home, and having to turn back. This, was also the same week that we lost some of our own in 2nd Brigade.

What did I not plan on my kids learning. I thought my kids would sail right through the academics and we would be experiencing European history through field trips.

Well.....the academics, were often stalled for real life challenges. When a neighbor calls and needs you, over here your all they have! Dr. appts. are at least a half a day ordeal, cars break down at inconvenient times, going away ceremonies, memorials, frg meetings, all of these things were interruptions, but also our life....and still our life.

My kids definitely got field trips; and wow some of the real life lessons they have learned. For example, when in Holland don't leave your wallet out, or you might just get mugged. They learned after visiting Dachau and the Corrie Ten Boom house, that yes there are really bad people out there; and yes that maybe what Daddy was doing was important.

Robert, learned what giving up a few hours of his time to do childcare so some ladies could just meet together and do a Bible study, could mean. He also learned, that it was not so easy to do a u- turn on the autobahn; and when his mom gets lost, she gets very cranky. He walked more memorial battlefields, than I can say. He, also got to see churches, that would take your breath away.

He learned, how to order in a restaurant, get directions, and he learned that saying goodbye to your Dad, and friends is hard. However, he also learned that life goes on and he learned how to show compassion for those hurting. He once carried all of our luggage up four flights of steps, because his Mom just finding out that her Dad was not coming home from Iraq when expected, was incapable of doing much of anything.

Sydney, learned that when you get lost in a very big castle, you get to do the tour twice. She also learned that when you say "NEIN"! TO German boys at an indoor playland, that you may just get punched. She learned that German's love to give candy away, especially at the emergency room. She learned that getting your tonsils out in a german hospital, was about the same as in an American one, except that they don't believe in giving painkillers orally (if you know what I mean).

Yeah, my kids have learned alot, most of it not planned. However, I am willing that the things they learned over here, will help them in life. They have a sense of humor about things now, and they have learned that when all around you is not looking to good, just look at the lord and he will get you through it.

What have I learned. You might just get what you ask for? So think about what you are asking......

goodnight,
Patty

Why, I love my Soldier

Recently, I was reminded that some people probably wonder, "Why, would anyone choose to marry a soldier". I took one of the kids in to the health clinic, (a weekly experience) these days. Anyway, the doctor said, "What's wrong with Mommy", except for the fact that she married a soldier". He was just kidding, trying to make Sydney less nervous. However, I replied, without hesitating.....that it might sound crazy, but that I could not imagine doing anything else in life".

Now, let's be clear. I am not saying that for all of the wonderful perks, that Louis's job brings. Reality check.....I am in what the army folks deem as the "pit of Germany". I am on my second deployment in three years, I haven't seen the sun for more than an hour at a time, in about five months and it's not like I am living in a mansion. No, I am not traveling around Europe in my jet...but instead a beat up van( something that is normal in Germany) with over one hundred thousand miles on it; and let's face it we are still trying to decide if the smell coming from the back is left over french fries, or someone's socks!

And, regardless of what some people think, nowdays my shopping experience is one hour at the commissary and if I am lucky the local german grocery store. I actually, said these words just tonight to a friend. I am going to take out the trash, to have some time to myself!! Okay, folks not something I thought I would ever say, EVER!!!!

But, with all of that....let me tell you all why I am glad I married my soldier. Besides, the fact that he is one gorgeous cajun, and a really good cook!!! He is simply, "My Hero". In a world, today where people are afraid to stand for anything, with the fear of not being tolerant, he stands up for his country!!!! And, when I say that, it's not taken lightly. Louis, really, really is willing to give up his life for our country. He, has more integrity then anyone I have ever known. He is probably going to kill me for telling you all this, but I have a really good example. We had an opportunity to go meet the President and the First Lady last year, when they came to Wiesbaden to thank First Armor Division. He, chose not to go, because in his words, " We have training scheduled, all of the commanders are going to be gone; and I just think someone needs to be here, in case something goes wrong; and he also wanted another soldier and wife to get a chance to go. I am not saying that, because I want everyone to think that Louis is so special. I just want to give an example of how he thinks everyday!!

He never forgets to tell me that he loves me. He sends me flowers and candy for Valentine's. He listens to all of my boring antidotes of the day and he even tells me that he is praying for me. He remembers to send the kids cards, emails, and even manages to make sure he calls us most nights. He does all of this while commanding a company of about 150 soldiers, going to numerous meetings every day, and planning short range/long range training that changes like the wind.

And....here is the thing....the thing that chokes me up inside. He, doesn't think anything about it. He got a very, special medal last deployment; and didn't even mention it to me....not a word!! He never complains, just pushes on. He has missed numerous birthdays, anniversaries, kid's "firsts", fun trips, and still.....manages to connect to us. He believes in what he is doing; and is not afraid to do what needs to be done. He misses us, terribly but still manages to always sound upbeat. He sleeps on a cot, but is excited that he has sheets. He got up at 4:00 in the morning to watch the superbowl, just so he could see a commercial our FRG shot; and my guess is he will be the last to take R&R leave.

These, are just some of the reasons why I am glad I married my soldier. Yes, there are more lonely days and nights than I can count. I have held tears in, more than I care to admit. I have watched wives sob, because they are completely overwhelmed. I have sobbed, because I am completely overwhelmed. I have seen ladies, that are tired to the bone, with five kids take on a few more, because her friend needed her. I have seen meals brought, prayers said, hugs given, time sacrificed, and most of all I have gotten to see God, everyday....because over here, some days that's all of us have left.

Why, am I glad a married a soldier....because I when I married my soldier I was given the opportunity to be a part of something bigger than myself, bigger than what I had or what I did, or what I didn't have. Somehow, when you watch loved ones, friends, and neighbors go off to combat and then don't get to see some of them come back; well that makes life a little more valuable.

If you ever see a soldier and his spouse, somewhere wherever you are, just thank them. You don't know what that means. It's one thing to see it on television, but when someone actually stops and thanks you...well it's just a very humbling and wonderful experience.

One more thing, today when your cable goes out, or your cell phone won't work. Maybe you get mad at your "honey" because they didn't do something they were supposed to do; or they didn't say something they should have....or maybe someone gets in the 15 or less line; and of course they have more than 15 items. I am just asking that you stop, pause and think to yourself.....is this reallly big....I mean there are soldiers waiting in a line, in Kuwait or Iraq, maybe for three hours, just so they can say hello to their wife or kids.....does 2 more minutes really matter!!!

Well, Goodnight and sorry about the long soapbox; it just helps me to get it out.

Lou, if you read this, just remember that I love you and I am so proud of you and the other guys. Tell them thanks,
Patty

WHAT'S HAPPENING WITH MY FOUR REASONS FOR GETTING UP THIS MORNING

NO, they are not the only reasons I get up; however, they are the loudest reasons!!

Let's start with Robert: Well, obviously he is swimming...he just completed his first season on the local swim team here; and we were quite surprised, that he liked it as much as he did. He improved quite a bit over the season; and want's to do it next year! Way to keep trying, Robert.

His latest quirks" Well....I am going to let him start having his own postings....so I will let him tell you. I will tell you that, he has a few new ones....and one involves anyone of the female persuasion, getting near his room!!

His News: He saved up for these really cool rollerblades; and finally bought them Friday!! On, Sunday he was trying them out; and broke his wrist.....yes we got to make yet another trip to the "German Krankenhaus"!! Wasn't it just this time....last year that Sydney broke her arm????? Yes, and I am sure it won't be my last time at the Krankenhaus. The good news is that my German Vocabulary is expanding.....I can now use some good emergency room lingo......

Sydney: Well, Sydney's opinion of Rob's arm is that; no you can not use this as an excuse not to do chores. She learned to do them with one arm; and so can he.....
She is currently into describing to anyone "who will listen", everything that Katie Grace can do. She thinks that Katie is the most intelligent baby...ever!!! She also, is quite into making me cringe. She has sworn to me that she is defintely getting a tattoo and several parts on her body pierced, because in her words "it looks cool"!! I really think she is just trying to "freak me out" her words, again. All of us that know Louis; however, cannot wait to the day she actually tries to make that a reality. I will be selling that conversation on ebay....I wonder who will win?????

Mary: Mary is very into anything that her older sister is doing. Although, she definitely makes her own way. She is going to German kindergarten, swears she isn't learning German, but then sprinkles some german words in her conversation; and when asked when she learned that, just shrugs her shoulder; and says, " I just heard it"!
She recently got her hair cut to her shoulders, because she just decided that she wanted it that way. She also, is quite into singing the ABC song to anyone who will listen. The really cool thing about Mary is that she is just so low maintenance.....it's like you don't even teach her things.....and she just decides that she wants to learn them; and then does in her own time. She misses her Daddy very much and has a very strong opinion that "working" should just mean working, not going far away......

Katie Grace: Well...what can I say about Katie. She is hands down the funnest one I have had, yet. She is the most different, as well. She is afraid of nothing, smarter than anything and STUBBORN, well as stubborn as me! She keeps up with everyone and has a vocabulary that astounds me at times. She is already trying to potty and puts her things away, better than the older kids. Today, when I told her we were going to eat dinner, she actually tried setting the table. She is really something else.....she is totally into eating, dancing, singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star; and to my embarassment "Sponge Bob Squarepants"!! She thinks her Daddy lives in the phone and tells his picture goodnight, every night. She will be two in July; and honestly if she doesn't break something on her body before then...I will be surprised!!

So, that's the latest with the Lancon kids!!!!!

I have to go to bed....so I can keep up with them tomorrow!!

Proud Mommy

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words