Getting back to Normal "Whatever that is"!!

Well, as you can see Lou is home!!! Actually, almost 4,000 of our soldiers are now home in Baumholder. It's crazy, really. I didn't realize just how empty this place was. It is so much fun to see family's everywhere. The kids looking at their Daddy's and Mommy's with bright eyes'; and so many lady's smiling........it's like the sun has come out in Baumholder.

As for us, well......I am still pinching myself sometimes, and I haven't complained about his stuff being anywhere, yet. I am hoping I will remember to never complain about his boots, p.t. clothes, or piles ever again.

My friends and I have had small chances to talk with each other. Always, asking each other what it is like; and for the most part we all just smile real big and say it's really great. I have had a chance to talk a little more with my closer friends and I think the most common theme among us, is that we just didn't realize how much we really did miss them, how much our husband's do add to our family's lives.

For most of us our husbands trained almost monthly for at least 6 months before they were deployed; and so it has been such an incredibly long time since we really "had" them home. I spoke with one friend today that said she still couldn't really believe he wasn't going to be turning around and leaving again.

It's funny, I think I understand what "hostages" feel like now. I know this is a stretch so stay with me.......NO, I am not saying the Army takes hostages. Although, many of my friends know that in Germany, we often call it the Officer's Hostage Program!!

No, it's getting slowly used to the circumstances that you are in; you know what is expected, you don't expect freedom; or in our case, true "normal" no longer holding your breath, or getting through the pain many days. So, I think for many of us, we are just having a hard time trying to figure out who we are when our circumstances are normal.

I know normal will come again, our routines are starting to settle in; and I am almost feeling what it was like, before....I am not sure before what. It's so wonderful not to have an inpending deployment before us. I am not always having to think this time....next year......I can now just remain in the present.

The present can be such an AWESOME, AWESOME THING. Presently, my husband is trying to decide what pants he should wear for a dinner tomorrow night. Presently, I can pick up a phone and call my husband; and I don't have to worry about being disconnected 5 times in a row before I get to say more than 3 words to him.

Presently, I get to wake up in the morning and know that he is okay; and 5 minutes away from me; working and doing normal things. I don't have to wonder "is he going out today"? I know he's not. I know where he is; and I know that the worst thing he will do tomorrow is sit through a training meeting (to him, that's probably worse than being in a patrol).

Anyway, I guess what I am feeling right now is just a thankfulness that my present circumstances are without too much struggle. I am not in "survival" mode anymore. Now, if I can just get my emotions to catch up with that.

We are having our last memorial this week; and I feel familiar feelings coming up. There is a sadness around me. I will be meeting Major Taylor's parents; and what do I say......how will they feel when they drive through the front gate and see all the Welcome Home Signs? I have never sat with my husband during a memorial. Will I be strong enough?

Anyway, my thoughts are never very far away from the soldiers that I visited in Landstuhl. I think about them alot; and I think about the family's of our fallen soldiers. I am having a harder time letting go of those emotions.

We watched a show last night about a medic unit in Iraq; and it showed iraqi's and Anerican soldiers being brough in to their facility. It took me back to what it was like to look down at some of the soldiers in Landstuhl.

I cannot even describe the humbleness, and great sadness that can come from visiting with an injured soldier. Of course, there is at the same time joy that they are alive and even laughter, because many times the soldiers use humor to hide the pain. That's okay, whatever gets them through it, I will gladly do.

I wish that every American could get 5 minutes in a hospital room with a soldier that has fought and been injured in this conflict. They everyone gets their 5 minutes of fame. Well, I promise you that your life will be much fuller if instead you get 5 minutes in the presence of an injured soldier. Especially, some of the young ones..........You cannot walk out of the room the same. They are always just so thankful, and always worried about the other's in the room or on the floor.

We are all so used to "selfishness" in this world. How many items does she have in the express lane? Why did they get a table before us? or their food before us? How did my neighbor get such a good job, car, wife etc. or why can't I.

These guys have basically said, "I will". "I will defend my country", I will die for my buddy next to me. "I will" watch your back. I might not know why, but I will.......I don't have to have all the answers, I just know that it's my job.

Okay, so I am going to stop writing and go give my superhero a big hug.

Have a wonderful, wonderful Thanksgiving. Don't remember to pray for the soldiers that are eating their thanksgiving meals thousands of miles away from their family's. So what if your turkey isn't perfect, or your pies, just be thankful for what you have

Love,
Patty