I have often wondered if my kids were really going to be okay, after the last three years. Actually, i have had conversations with God in my head, where I have said God you want my husband to serve his country, but do you reallize what it is doing to my kids. I think I may have even yelled that at him once or twice.
So, we are down to about 6 weeks until my hubby gets home (god willing). And, I am looking back on some things; deciding what I really need to let Louis know before he gets home; and just trying to look at where our family is.
I realize, just how much God's grace has covered us. It's amazing!!!! I have felt guilty over so many things, and I realize that God knew that; and it is almost as if he is turning my face to him, now and saying "See, I told you it would be okay if you trusted me".
I can remember being torn at times as to whether or not to make a trip to Landstuhl to see asoldier or to stay at Batallion when we were making calls to our family's. I can remember thinking, I am being a bad Mom because my kids are not being homeschooled today. Although I also remember knowing that God had me where I was for a purpose, but I think I always questioned whether I was just trying to make myself feel better.
Today, my son looked at me; and said you know what Mom I am glad you do the things you do. Don't worry about our homeschooling today; what you are doing is important. I just wanted to hug him and tell him how much I needed to hear that.
My kids have learned more than I wanted them to, granted I wish they could have held on to innocence longer. However I am amazed at the maturity they show about world issues, and the passion that Robert has now for soldiers.
Yes, I am going to be taking away from their homeschooling for the next six weeks, as we prepare for the soldiers to come home. However, they are getting to be a part of something so wonderful, they really get to contribute to what their Dad is doing. What kind of lesson is that?
I think that someday when we look back at this time I am going to realize that many of the basic core values that my two oldest will have, will have been gained at this time. I truly believe that my children will never forget what true compassion and the love of Christ is.
They have seen ladies giving whatever they could to make their "little world" better. I know that my children will remember the meals made in our kitchen; and their jobs as brownie makers, for ladies that were really making a difference; and needed some support too.
I believe that my children will always remember what it's like to sacrifice for their country; and what freedom really means. They won't ever take the flag or the American Anthem for granted. They know to put their hand over their heart; they know the history of America, because that's a passion in our house.
Robert knows that his Mom can be devestated by the circumstances around her, but also what it's like to put your faith in Christ and get back up again. Sydney, knows that her Mom loves her Dad more than anything; and that a good marriage means sticking together through it all; and I hope that she will look for that in her future husband.
Looking back on this last year I don't remember much of our academic studies. I remember the math that came out of figuring out how many cookies to make for goody bags for our soldiers. My kids remember grammar through emails written to Dad. History took on a new meaning, when we studied about world religions, I didn't have to explain muslims very much to Robert.
I don't have to sit down and have a little talk about what "life and death" really mean, they know it. They also know what loving someone even when their away means. They know that as long as you have a family you are okay. They know that they will always be taken care of, no matter what the circumstances are; and they know that whatever the future holds, they will be okay as long as they trust God, pray when they are worried, and talk to their Mom and Dad (even on webcam).
Was this in my plan? No, of course not. However, God knew what our family was going to go through; and he gave us the strength that he gave us to get through it.
I just want to tell him, thank you for making sure my kids were okay. God, thanks for getting my back while my husband was getting other's.
Just some thoughts..........
Patty
